Before I begin this post, I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has taken the time to read my content. You have no idea how much it means to me to finally put my thoughts and creativity out there for the world to see. Even if anyone doesn’t read my posts, the universe always does ❤ Okay so, this post is pretty long so I suggest you read it if you’re in bed or just taking a long break from life itself. Five minutes before taking the photo above picture of myself on the self-timer setting on my iPhone, I had a karaoke session to “A Woman’s Worth” by Alica Keys. The karaoke got so intense that I ended up wrapping a red Hermes inspired scarf around my head and some gold hoop earrings to channel Alicia’s look back in the early 2000’s. I went on Snapchat and took a series of video selfies while pretending to be Alicia and it was honestly the damndest thing. I felt confident, beautiful and during those karaoke moments, I felt that nothing could bring me down and I was happy with the way I looked, is that so wrong? Well for some people, it’s hard to grasp the fact that a person happens to like the way they look. They’re often viewed as self-centered, narcissistic, conceited, Kim K, etc. But have you ever stopped to think that maybe there’s a reason why people put the camera arms reach from face, hit the reverse button and snap away? Well, let me be the first to tell you.
Growing up, I hated myself. Yes I know hate is strong word but at that time, the hate was real. I hated the way I looked, I hated my eyebrows, my acne covered skin, my curly hair for I wanted God himself to straighten it, my smile, my athletic/non-curvy body, and the fact that girls and at some point, boys, would refer to me as ugly right to my face. After muliple cries in the bathroom, I would collect myself and go on with my day in pain which I hid from everyone else. I was just a little girl who wanted to feel accepted and to be deemed as “perfect” in terms of my appearance. When taking pictures on a chunky Canon camera from Wal-Mart, I often wanted to hurl at the results. I saw an insecure, acne-covered, depressed girl trying to hide her pain behind the lens, hell she was too scared to even look at the lens. I even begged God to change my looks but he never answered. This struggle continued until my last year of university in the year of 2013.
I was getting ready in my room to go to my university graduation to receive my Bachelor’s Degree and had just gotten out of an almost two year relationship with my ex-boyfriend. He was my first boyfriend and the idea of being someone’s girlfriend scared me for I was afraid about how he perceived me. During our time together, he saw things in me that I was too blind to see in myself. He complimented me on my flaws such as my curly hair, my skin, my smile, and yes, my outfit, things that I wouldn’t care to notice. And when he said those things, in his eyes, he meant it. We loved each other unconditionally. Now that he was no longer a part of my life, it put me in a position to start loving myself. I’d wake up, look in the mirror and named one thing that I liked about myself.Before I would stand in the mirror for hours and drag myself through the dirt of self-loathing and 95% of the time, it ended in tears. I may of lost someone that I loved, but it doesn’t mean I should stop loving myself. Around that time, I had purchased the iPhone 4 and it had a pretty good camera during its duration. I was in a white pinstripe dress, one side of my hair was pinned to the side and I had red lipstick on. I reversed the camera so it was on myself and I began to snap away. After about 9 flicks, I reviewed them and I kid you not, I smiled. For that time, I was pleased with the way I looked, my smile was genuine, the curls in my hair were full and my face had some acne but what mattered was that this marked the beginning of my journey to self-love. And also I was graduating with my degree that I worked on for four years, so damn right I’m happy as hell! I ended up walking the stage that day to receive my Degree from former Mayor Stephen Mandel. I felt proud, I felt loved by my family who watched from afar and from my friends who cheered as I walked the stage. What’s crazy is that after the ceremony, I was waiting for my parents in the lobby and Stephen Mandel came up to me, shook my hand and complimented me on my smile that day. If that isn’t a sign, I don’t know what is. Now I am at a stage in my life where I can happily say that I love myself. I love myself in terms of my accomplishments, my mistakes, my appearance, the pain I endured, and for putting myself in a position to learn. Whether it’s about myself or with the helping hands of others, I FREAKIN LOVE MYSELF! Call it narcissistic, conceited, etc, at the end of the day, I would rather look in the mirror and talk about what I love as opposed to what I hate about myself. And believe me, I don’t want to live in darkness for the rest of my life. And neither should you!
For anyone reading this, I encourage you to play the game of self-love. Here are the rules:
1.) Wake up!
2.) Thank God you woke up today
3.) Walk to the mirror
4.) Look at yourself long and hard or however long you want
5.) Come up with one thing that you love about yourself. Heck it doesn’t have to be one thing, it can be 3, 4,5, 6 or 20 depending on how much time you have. It doesn’t have to be appearance, it can be anything you want!
6.) Get ready for the day ahead in terms of your responsibilities.
7.) At some point during your day, snap a quick selfie, or 2, or 289346!
8.) Share it on social media (Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, etc). Don’t pay attention to likes, what matters is that YOU are beautiful. Block all negative comments for YOU out of all people would know that they are not true!
9.) Learn something new about yourself along the way
10.) SMILE =)
Hope this technique works for you! What are some self-love techniques that you do for yourself? Leave a comment below and let me know =) Thanks for stopping by!